The following text reveals a deep, difficult and delicate
subject. Sit a spell and listen closely. Most, if not all people around me, know I
suffered years with an eating disorder.
Come December 18th, it will be 12 years since I faced the
demon consuming every inch of my body.
The day will never leave memory. . .
I walked into Vanderbilt hospital in Tennessee frail, broken,
depressed and near death. Two loving
individuals, busting at the seams with care for me, escorted my sickly body
into the waiting room. Little did I
realize how determined these two were to save my life. The eating disorder hijacked every thought,
movement and decision. Looking back, I
still cannot fathom how I functioned daily.
We entered a room and the nurse took all vitals – which were
nowhere near normal limits. I cannot
remember every detail of that day; but, I clearly remember the doctor
presenting an ultimatum of admission to the hospital or allowing the eating
disorder to win the final battle. The
demon of Anorexia Nervosa fought extremely hard at the sound of the doctor’s
voice. I ran to the restroom to escape
the tiny room threatening to take my only means of survival in this broken
world. Looking in the mirror, I did not
recognize the girl staring back. . .
I returned to two individuals with scared faces and sad
hearts. They prayed with and over me. In that moment, I felt the demon lose. Where two or more are gathered in His name,
He will show up in mighty ways. I was
admitted later that evening and spent Christmas in the hospital. I watched the ball drop with a wonderful
nurse and saw snow falling outside my window.
Memories that will remain. A team
of individuals cared enough to show up for work every day, even through the
holidays, and keep me from dying. I met
lots of people throughout recovery in Vanderbilt. . .
Once stable, I moved into a recovery center in
Wisconsin. Again, another day that will
never leave memory. My dad drove me, sat
with me through admission and then we entered the scariest place on campus. .
.the dining room! First thing asked of
me was to eat! A buffet spread out for
me to choose a certain number of carbs, fats, fruits, veggies and protein to
fulfill some meal plan based on the weight gain required for release. I continued being fed via feeding tube 24/7
as well. All control removed, I freaked
out on the inside. I complied to the
meal plan because I am a people pleaser (which helped in this situation) and I
wanted to go home. . .
I eventually went home and continued in this broken
world. I have learned so much since that
day. With a few backslides here and
there, I am still kicking! I now have a
strong relationship with my Father whom provides the strength required to
defeat the enemy. See, just because I
reached a healthy number on the scale, realized the worth of life and attended
countless therapy sessions, I am not immune to the enemy’s evil tactics. The enemy works diligently every moment to
keep me from my Father. Every day, Every
hour, Every minute!
Recovery gets ‘easier’ as I recognize triggers and learn to
run to my Father quicker; but, the everyday events most people just do without
thinking, remain a battleground for me.
I want to throw a few tips out this holiday season, for we never know
what battleground lay in front of another or the pain deep inside!
SHINE on others today!
Seek to understand
Hand out prayers NOT opinions
Invest your time in another
Nurture lost souls
Encourage daily
Remember, the action of others often covers a deep wound the
person buried year after year. Festering
wounds, broken hearts, lost souls and emptiness result in sinful actions;
whether it reveal a sin towards self or a sin towards others. . .sin aides in
dealing temporarily with the emotion attached to the wound. Hate the sin, NOT the sinner. For we all have sinned and fall short of the
glory of our God.
Live life. . .One Day at a
time!
Sheree Craig
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