Healing is Possible and You are Worth it

What can I do to help?  How can I ease any pain?  Is my loved one going to die?  Why does this disease have such a tight grip?

Great questions when an eating disorder becomes exposed.  The same questions run through the minds of a sufferer.  Being trapped for years, the individual has no clue how to answer the above questions. 

Help arrives through a hug filled with acceptance.  Help appears in a conversation expressing love. 

Help with a listening ear.

Ease pain by allowing the individual to process through recovery.  Ease pain by accepting the reality of the disease. 

Ease pain with a listening ear. 

Due to the tight grip of an eating disorder, death can occur.  The physical damage may be permanent.  No guarantee exists for the individual to reach physical wellness.  But, emotional healing is possible.  The individual can reach peace by destroying the power of an eating disorder.  The individual can learn new coping mechanisms to remain in peace even when the toughest of storms hit, including physical ailments resulting from years of malnutrition.  Healing is possible.

I read an article mentioning words that could feed an eating disorder (no pun intended).  You do not need to walk on eggshells around an individual; but, there are times to bite your tongue and hold your opinions.  I will share a few with you and add some of my own that I have experienced. . .

“Oh wow, you ate (a lot/a little) today.”  This one should be an obvious one, but it may slip out from a heart concerned with the amount of food ingested by one in recovery.  Save your breath on this one.  I promise that the individual is fully aware of the amount of food eaten that day.  Instead, maybe commend them on making it through another day in recovery.  The amount of food was not equivalent to set meal plan; but, the individual may have overcome the greatest battle within that day.

“I wish I could eat like you.”  Eating disorders are not something to be desired.  The individual does not like the food quantity chosen daily.  Emotion drives eating, not the mere need for nutrients; therefore, the quantity ingested reflects the emotional battle taking place inside.  Instead, avoid any talk about quantity of food ingested by you or them.

“You look so healthy now that you are eating.”  Sounds like a compliment, right?  This enrages the eating disorder.  The eating disorder realizes it is losing and fights back hard!  Instead, maybe focus on celebrating the person by spending time just hanging out with them.  Show them you love them for who they are on the inside and the outside matters none. 

“Just eat something.”  NOT THAT SIMPLE.  If it were, recovery would take days and struggles would never return.  The individual typically enjoys food, but guilt overwhelms after eating due to feeling unworthy of nutrition.  The unworthy feeling stems from a variety of places (depending on the past experiences).  Instead, help the individual discover new foods and allow them to share the struggles after eating that item.  Be a listening ear to help process the new life the individual is striving toward.

It is not about food.  It is not about you.  It is not even about the person.  Eating disorders become a coping mechanism learned to heal incoming emotions.  Eating disorders numb pain.  Eating disorders provide an escape.  Eating disorders create a hiding place. 

I love to be invincible.  If unseen, I cannot be rejected, hurt, criticized or discovered.  Being thin helped me feel hidden.  Restricting food helped me find control in something when chaos consumed every day.  The excessive exercise purged emotions I refused to feel.  Avoiding social settings and running for relationships kept me safe from any more rejection.

 

I loved my eating disorder more than life itself.  I realize my eating disorder is the one coping mechanism that kept me surviving the storms of life.  Was it a healthy mechanism?  Of course NOT; but, it was my choice for survival.  Thankfully, I realize it cannot be my choice for survival now.  Over the years of recovery, I moved from survival mode to just living each day in joy and peace.  We are not here to survive.  We are here to live with purpose. 

You have a purpose.  You matter in this life.  You are needed here.  

Thank you for choosing to wake up and live today!     

Day THREE!  Can you provide a listening ear?

Live life. . .One Day at a time! 

Sheree Craig   

Save a Life

Life came one hurtful day at a time.  Losing all I knew without anywhere to turn.  Every night I prayed to be taken in the middle of sleep, never to wake again in this life.  One choice at a time, I slowly walked toward death.  I headed down the path of a slow suicide. 

Trapped by my own mind, imprisoned by my own actions and living in hell every moment.  Life held absolutely NO JOY when addiction sucked every breath out of every second of every day!  Every decision made to please my eating disorder.  Every situation striving to numb out any emotions felt. 

Eventually, the one thing I used to control life began controlling me.  I turned down thousands of invitations over the years due to fear of judgement, food and emotion.  I punished emotion with starvation and purged failure through exercise.  Trapped, imprisoned and living in hell.

Eating disorders are no joke!  Early recognition of signs provides the sufferer another option to process life.  Signs are not always blaringly obvious.  Weight cannot be the only sign to look for in eating disorders.  The scale may reveal “ideal weight”, but the abuse still occurs daily.  On the outside, a sufferer may display happiness; but, covering up any emotion keeps the eating disorder thriving. 

The disease begins inside and works its way outside, affecting the entire person.  Emotional and physical damage steal life one day at a time.  Organs weaken.  Confidence begins to decrease.  Memory is lost.  General thinking and reasoning become distorted.  The eating disorder controls every single moment.

Recovery is possible; but, cannot be done alone.  The eating disorder holds too much power.  Irrational thinking and physical weakness prevent the sufferer to walk in the direction of recovery.  Without help, the sufferer will die in the arms of their eating disorder. 

You could be the voice that overpowers an eating disorder.  You could be the hand that pulls another from the pit of eating disorder hell.  You could be the person the sufferer is screaming to find.  You could save a life!

Thankfully, I found that person.  I built confidence, broke down walls and reached out.  I began walking a path toward the Cross.  Approaching the Cross in humility, God pulled me in tight and promised to never let go!  He did not bring up the way I treated His creation for the past 10 years.  He did not list the countless nights over the toilet, running until pain overpowered emotion, rejecting Him or refusing to live.  He simply said, “I have been waiting for you.”  

I cannot express enough gratitude toward God for saving my life.  I cannot wrap my mind around the reason for sending angels to pull me from the pit.  But, daily, I will strive to give back to God what I received.  He saved me!  He provided healing.  I cannot explain in words the feeling of His Power coming in and taking over my life.  With one swift kick, He booted the eating disorder out for good.

The enemy still entices me with the old ways of living.  In some storms, I fall to my knees in prayer for an army of angels to get the enemy off my back.  Every time, God wins!

He wins for every believing and faithful child.  He created each of us in His Image.  He gave His Only Son for YOU and for ME!  This allows for an intimate relationship this side of Heaven.  It is only through that intimate relationship that I chose recovery and strive to meet Him at the pearly gates when my time here is done.  I cannot wait to fall into His arms and sit with Him in Heaven.  He knows when my time here is done.  Until then, I will approach the Cross daily and pray harder than the devil can work!   

   

Day TWO!  Will you reach out a hand?

Live life. . .One Day at a time! 

Sheree Craig   

Some Days. . .

I look at a picture taken on a beautiful day full of joyous memories.  The images seen hold the memory captive, tear it apart and leave misery in my thoughts.  My hair imperfect.  My legs unattractive.  My stomach protruding.  My outfit failing to make the fashion magazine. 

I wake up energized, ready to face another day.  One hour into the day, thoughts build fear to face the hours ahead.  Negativity toward self declares control for today.  My life undesired.  My body unhealthy.  My opinions worthless.  My presence an annoyance.

I look in the mirror to reveal a stranger.  My eyes distort the truth.  No amount of correction will help enhance my vision.  My body misshaped.  My face blemished.  My skin aged.  My purpose unknown.

Every.  Single.  Day.

Currently, the above scenarios occur far and few between.  Some days feel as though misery will never end.  Some days feel like no progress gained in recovery.  Some days. . .

To spend a day in my mind would bring exhaustion to any individual.  By the time I leave for work, I have already combated about 50-100 lies.  The enemy knows just how to kill the joy of any day. 

I am not where I need to be BUT thankfully, I am progressing in the right direction.  I still combat negativity.  I still default to food for dealing with emotion.  I still increase in anxiety when hunger strikes, parties revolve around food, in social settings and when routine ceases to exist.  BUT, I am making it one day at a time. 

I know full well that God fights the enemy, defeats the enemy and provides peace.  I feel that peace every single day.  I must choose God over food for comfort.  I must choose God over isolation due to fear.  I must choose God over desire to please flesh temporarily.  I must replace every negative thought with Truth.  Sounds easy, right?  It is when life goes smoothly.  It is not when life stirs storms around every corner. 

I don’t desire sympathy or even empathy.  I desire understanding, love and acceptance.  Sometimes, I just want a hug so tight that all the negativity squeezes out never to return.  Sometimes, I just want to talk about positive and lovely things over a cup of coffee.  Sometimes, I just want to laugh, relax and enjoy the moment. 

Awareness: knowledge or perception of a situation or fact. 

I strive to bring awareness to others about the severity of an eating disorder.  It is serious.  It is deadly.  It affects more than imagined.  It comes on strong and holds on tightly.  It is not always about weight.  It cannot survive in the light!  It cannot survive in love.  It cannot survive in Truth. 

This week is Eating Disorder Awareness week.  Let’s work together to build one another up, love, accept and help any suffering.  It is not a simple fix of “just eating” or “avoiding foods that trigger a binge” or “just stopping a behavior”.  It is so much more and much deeper than the behaviors seen by others.  The behaviors are used to numb and cover up the underlying pain, sorrow and brokenness.  The behaviors are the only coping mechanism sufferers know when processing life.  Sufferers need a hand to guide in the direction of safe coping.  Sufferers need you to help sharpen their eyesight to see a way out.  Sufferers need to realize Who will heal the underlying reason for outwardly behaviors. . . 

   

Day ONE!  Could you recognize the signs of one suffering with an eating disorder?

Live life. . .One Day at a time! 

Sheree Craig   

A Cheer from the Crowd

The crowds move swiftly to a seat.  The popcorn aroma fills the air.  The coach rounds up the team to begin warmup.  The team ready to play!

The line leads to an auditorium full of excited parents.  The vendors set up shop.  The director leads the kids in warmup.  The choir ready to perform!

As parents, we experience both scenarios described above.  We love watching the kids thrive in these environments.  Both love participating and their excitement brings joy to our hearts.  I am proud of both to discover their talent and put forth 100% effort with each performance. 

At a recent basketball game leading to the Championship, the excitement exceeded all other games of the season.  My daughter could not wait to get out on the court and ‘brake some ankles’.  The game was intense.  The crowd watched as our girls shot numerous times without landing any points on the board.  Meanwhile, the opposing team shot multiple times resulting in points increasing on the board.  The game looked grim from our stands.

 

Being a referee, my husband focuses on missed calls and follows the game from a much different perspective.  Missed calls resulted in lost opportunity for our girls to gain a lead (or even get some points on the board).  Toward the end of the first quarter, my husband busted at the seams.  He decided to help the struggling referee out by ‘kindly’ letting him know that indeed a foul occurred; yet, the referee failed in blowing the whistle.  The referee did not like the guidance from my husband; therefore, stopped the game and gave our coach a warning.  We stood risk for a technical foul!  (insert a wife with bright red face) 

The game began to shift our way after the first quarter.  Our girls landed shots and halted the other team with strong defense.  My husband cheered and showed huge excitement for our girls.  Our daughter struggled in going in for a layup, drawing a possible foul on a fast break.  She continued to jump stop, shoot and miss.  Suddenly, her dad’s advice kicked in and she went full force down the court for a layup!  AND 1!

As she lined up to shoot her “free” point, my husband stood up, clapped and said “Brooklyn, awesome job, that is exactly what to do!”  (or something to that effect) I was too taken aback by this father’s support that I cannot remember the exact words.  The little girl in me wished I had such comments when I played back in the day.  The wife/mother in me prided on the wonderful man I now have in my every day!  My daughter, son and I are better than blessed.

My husband defends, protects, provides and encourages each of us daily.  His view on the world keeps me grounded.  His leadership keeps me progressing.  His words keep me lifted. 

The little girl in me longed for such embrace, encouragement, protection, defense and rescue; I now know all of this and more was present all along.  This remains true today.  We each have opportunity to embrace the love of our Father in every situation.  He defends, protects, provides and encourages. 

He sends an army of angels in to fight the battle you face.  He protects your heart and shuts down the enemy always.  He provides every tool required for any storm in this life.  He encourages with Truth spoken directly to your thoughts. 

No more longing.  No more emptiness.  No more worries. 

Love life.  Build excitement for the ‘game’ today.  Give 100% effort with each performance.  Go forth in full knowledge of Truth.  Stand firm in confidence, knowing full well your Heavenly Father cheers for you!  Embrace the love of your Father!

See what great love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are! The reason the world does not know us is that it did not know him. 1 John 3:1

Half way to the WEEKEND!  Enjoy this day with your Father!

Live life. . .One Day at a time! 

Sheree Craig   

Confidence in the Game

My little baller eats, sleeps, and breathes basketball!  She desires to play basketball every minute.  Her day consists of dribbling a ball in the foyer of our home, playing in the driveway, attending practice, attending a game or watching basketball on YouTube. Her passion is evident to all. 

I love watching her play.  Worry seeps in as the stats from the opposing team reveal.  I constantly tell her to go out on the court and play her game.  The other team matters none.  A stat of 7-1 from the opposing team does not steal any skill my little baller possesses. 

She walks away from games, win or lose, head held high!  She gleams, reenacts tricky moves made to add points to the board and rests confidently in herself.  I am quick to veer her praise toward the One Who provided such skill/passion.  Her response?  “I know mom!”  “God gave me this ability.”  (insert rolling of the eyes)

In all truth, God did provide the ability this little girl possesses.  He also provided the joy, sportsmanship, love and friendship shared with teammates.  My little baller enjoys the game.  My little baller enjoys the crowd.  My little baller enjoys every person on the court.  While being faithful to her team, she would not hesitate to join another if they needed a player.  She just loves being in the game and giving her all every time the ball touches her hands.

Self-confidence is great; but, must fall second to God-confidence!  I thank God for my little baller.  I love watching her passion on the court and being confident in self.  It takes me back to my own childhood.  I held the same confidence.  Then, life entered the scene and storms moved in to steal passion, joy, confidence and love.  I lost a position on the only team I knew in life.  I lost the only purpose I believed in life.  I lost it all!  Or so I thought. . .

Self-confidence is great; but, leaves us to rely solely on self for survival in storms of life.  We were not created to function in life alone.  We were not created to maintain a position on the worldly team.  Our purpose does not include trophies, crowd applause, high standings or greater skills than the next person.

 

God-confidence is BETTER and fills us with purpose.  This provides any tool required to survive storms and come through even stronger than before.  We were created to maintain a position on God’s team.  Our purpose includes to love, follow, respect and honor God.  All other things will fall into place once we stand firm on a foundation built with Truth.

It took me twenty-five+ years to figure out why my foundation continued to crumble.  I worked with all strength to find self-confidence based on worldly standards.  This left me exhausted, depressed, failing and ready to throw in the towel on this thing called life.  Truth by Truth, I realized I sat on the wrong bench.  I ran the wrong plays.  I focused too much on the stats of the opposing teams, killing all confidence.  I walked away daily with my head down.  The day ran through my mind, highlighting every failure, missed opportunity and ending loss!

Yes, I love that my daughter holds self-confidence in her basketball abilities.  Yes, I agree that she is a wonderful ball player.  Yes, she holds a great purpose on that team.

 

But, I pray her foundation in life is built on Truth.  No matter her position in life, the number of trophies on the shelf or amount of points earned, she is made in the image of God.  Her life exists for a mighty purpose, already being fulfilled by God.  I pray it does not take her twenty-five+ years to realize the Truth which to build a foundation.  I pray she never sits the bench in life; but, assures she remains on God’s team. 

Just like the game of basketball, the game of life can be tough.  We might come up against opposition with stats surpassing our abilities.  We might miss a pass, lose the ball, fall mid play or fail to follow the Coach’s guidance.  It happens.  Don’t let the struggle of today crumble your foundation.  Don’t let the enemy steal the Truth found in every situation.  Stay strong my friends!  Live with God-confidence!

        

Happy Sunday!  What will the game of life bring today?

Live life. . .One Day at a time! 

Sheree Craig   

Hit the Brake

The famous red and blue lights!  My past record reveals a few encounters with red and blue.  When glancing in the rear-view mirror, no person hopes to see red and blue. 

Granted, each time a policeman pulled me to the shoulder to discuss my driving skills, I deserved the removal from traffic.  In one instance, the ticket received invited me to a day in court.  I could not wiggle my way out this time.  I received enough warning along the way.  The time came to receive a ticket and summon to stand before the judge for discipline.  A little namedrop, money and time removed the ‘points’ from my license.  In the clear!

Does my experience result in a constant regard to laws of driving?  Not really.  I try diligently to follow all the rules within my knowledge while driving; but, I still fall short.

The presence of a police car in traffic sends a respectful fear throughout my entire body.  I quickly examine every aspect of my driving to assure no law is broken.  When a police car comes in view, the brake automatically receives a tap.  Even if within the speed limit (okay, maybe 5 mph over), I still hit the brake.

Respectful fear leads to rightful actions.  Respectful fear causes a desire to follow the parameters set. 

¹² And now, Israel, what does the Lord your God ask of you but to fear the Lord your God, to walk in obedience to him, to love him, to serve the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul, ¹³ and to observe the Lord’s commands and decrees that I am giving you today for your own good? Deuteronomy 10:12-13

I always wondered why the Bible mentioned fear and God in the same sentence.  We are to fear the Lord God.  I could not wrap my mind around this thought.  Fear spiders?  DEFINITELY YES!  Fear weight gain?  Sure, when in the deep darkness of my eating disorder.  Fear losing a loved one?  For sure!  But, fear of my Lord and Savior?  I just did not understand.

The fear of our Lord God is to be one of a respectful fear, not scared with fear.  Respectful fear of God will keep us following His Truths, loving Him wholeheartedly and serving as asked.  God remains on the path every day.  He is watching over us – His children – His creation.  Keep Him in view always.

Even in respectful fear, we will fall short.  God may find a time to kindly pull us to the shoulder of our path and discuss life a little.  Removal from the chaos will help sharpen our view of situations.  He gives commands, direction and answers to all situations. 

When life gets crazy, feet slip from the straight path and summon to the Cross occurs, be excited and full of respectful fear!  God desires better!  God knows the way!  God provides Truth! 

Sin creeps into our lives daily.  We fall short of God’s desires daily.  But, we know the One name to drop to remove, forgive and learn from daily mistakes – just say Jesus!  Come to the Cross, receive discipline with excitement, hit the brake on life when asked and walk slowly along the straight path.    

TGIF!  Fill every fiber of your being with respectful fear toward God?

Live life. . .One Day at a time! 

Sheree Craig   

Give Hope Control

If you have not viewed the movie, “Inside Out”, I suggest renting it tonight!  It depicts the lifespan of memories, uproar of emotions, importance of expressing such emotions and an overall wonderful storyline.

 

Everybody encounters emotions.  Baptismal waters wash clean the sin from the past, creating a new person in Christ.  Following God daily defines a Christian.  Do Christians sin?  Do Christians make mistakes?  Do Christians encounter storms in life?  Do Christians remain euphoric?

Being a Christian does not exempt from trials and tribulations.  Christians will sin; for, we ALL fall short of God’s glory every single day.  Mistakes consume some days in the life of a Christian.  NO; Christians do not remain euphoric with a constant smile. 

The same Creator touched every fiber of a Christian and non-Christian.  The same Creator breathed life into ALL, holding a special purpose for each.

We all experience emotions as depicted by the suggested movie: anger, sadness, joy, fear, disgust!  At any moment, one emotion may take over the controls. . .even in a Christian.  There is a profound difference:  Christians take each emotion to the Cross; while, non-Christians take each emotion to the world.  Though emotions may flood a situation, Hope overpowers and demands control after allowing the emotion felt.  Each emotion holds validity (the whole reason God provided emotion); but, reaction defines Christian vs. non-Christian. 

Hope never leaves.  Hope never forsakes.  Hope never changes.  Hope never steers wrong.

Do you have Hope?

Hope did not appear in the cast of “Inside Out”.  But, Hope filtered into the storyline if viewed through God’s eyes.  Hope comes in to rescue in times of trouble.  Hope comes in to celebrate in times of pleasure.  Hope comes in to comfort in times of sadness.  Hope comes in to calm in times of fret.  Hope comes in to reconcile in times of rage.

Do you have Hope?

Have you ever experienced a day that felt as though every emotion in your mind decided to fight for control?  Have you ever experienced a day when only bad memories came to view?  It was probably a Monday, right?

I had one not too far in the past.  I could not see beyond the fog of negativity.  Hope stood amongst the chaos waiting. . .and waiting. . .and waiting!  It took many hours of exhausting emotional battle to lay down in surrender.  I knew where to take all this, but my flesh kept pouring concrete around my feet preventing any movement toward Hope. 

Having a rough day, week, month or year is okay.  The chaos of all these emotions may bring exhaustion.  Our past fills the memory lane and replays in efforts to decide our future.  Stand firm in Truth.  Run to Hope.  Surrender at the Cross.

Our past builds isles upon isles of mile high shelves filled with memories.  Some good, some bad; but, NONE which define our core being.  God created every fiber of our being with purpose.  I can guarantee His purpose for you and I does not include living in the past.  Memories serve us well in one way: to remind that we are not where we used to be!  We have matured along the way and learned from each moment. 

Living as a Christian, the learning can be difficult at times.  The enemy works diligently to shoot down any progress by stirring chaos amongst emotions.  Memories trickle in one by one to validate emotions.  The flesh becomes prideful, seeking restitution for the past.  Hope stands amongst the chaos and waits with open arms. 

Allow Hope to be your guide.  Follow God with each step.  Take every emotion in every situation to the Cross.  Hope will embrace and settle down emotional chaos.  Hope will take captive the controls and make the body – inside and out – obedient to Christ.  Thus, display a Christian for others to see and desire to become. 

⁵ We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.  2 Corinthians 10:5   

  

Our memories, every day reactions, display of emotions and humility allow us to be God’s Hand and Feet!

It’s Wednesday!  Ask Hope into every moment today?

Live life. . .One Day at a time!  

Sheree Craig