Life came one hurtful
day at a time. Losing all I knew without
anywhere to turn. Every night I prayed
to be taken in the middle of sleep, never to wake again in this life. One choice at a time, I slowly walked toward
death. I headed down the path of a slow
suicide.
Trapped by my own mind,
imprisoned by my own actions and living in hell every moment. Life held absolutely NO JOY when addiction
sucked every breath out of every second of every day! Every decision made to please my eating
disorder. Every situation striving to
numb out any emotions felt.
Eventually, the one
thing I used to control life began controlling me. I turned down thousands of invitations over
the years due to fear of judgement, food and emotion. I punished emotion with starvation and purged
failure through exercise. Trapped,
imprisoned and living in hell.
Eating disorders are no
joke! Early recognition of signs
provides the sufferer another option to process life. Signs are not always blaringly obvious. Weight cannot be the only sign to look for in
eating disorders. The scale may reveal “ideal
weight”, but the abuse still occurs daily.
On the outside, a sufferer may display happiness; but, covering up any
emotion keeps the eating disorder thriving.
The disease begins
inside and works its way outside, affecting the entire person. Emotional and physical damage steal life one
day at a time. Organs weaken. Confidence begins to decrease. Memory is lost. General thinking and reasoning become
distorted. The eating disorder controls
every single moment.
Recovery is possible;
but, cannot be done alone. The eating
disorder holds too much power.
Irrational thinking and physical weakness prevent the sufferer to walk
in the direction of recovery. Without
help, the sufferer will die in the arms of their eating disorder.
You could be the voice
that overpowers an eating disorder. You
could be the hand that pulls another from the pit of eating disorder hell. You could be the person the sufferer is
screaming to find. You could save a
life!
Thankfully, I found
that person. I built confidence, broke
down walls and reached out. I began
walking a path toward the Cross.
Approaching the Cross in humility, God pulled me in tight and promised
to never let go! He did not bring up the
way I treated His creation for the past 10 years. He did not list the countless nights over the
toilet, running until pain overpowered emotion, rejecting Him or refusing to
live. He simply said, “I have been
waiting for you.”
I cannot express enough
gratitude toward God for saving my life.
I cannot wrap my mind around the reason for sending angels to pull me
from the pit. But, daily, I will strive
to give back to God what I received. He
saved me! He provided healing. I cannot explain in words the feeling of His
Power coming in and taking over my life.
With one swift kick, He booted the eating disorder out for good.
The enemy still entices
me with the old ways of living. In some
storms, I fall to my knees in prayer for an army of angels to get the enemy off
my back. Every time, God wins!
He wins for every
believing and faithful child. He created
each of us in His Image. He gave His Only
Son for YOU and for ME! This allows for an
intimate relationship this side of Heaven.
It is only through that intimate relationship that I chose recovery and
strive to meet Him at the pearly gates when my time here is done. I cannot wait to fall into His arms and sit
with Him in Heaven. He knows when my
time here is done. Until then, I will
approach the Cross daily and pray harder than the devil can work!
Day TWO! Will you reach out a hand?
Live life. . .One Day at a
time!
Sheree Craig
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