Married people are a funny group! Think on it. . .two people come together from completely different upbringing. Two people traveling completely different pathways meet at a fork in the road. Two people looking out for self-survival join together in the battle.
No wonder this whole marriage thing comes with difficulty. I wish every couple received an easy button at the altar. When disagreement arises, push the button. When one nerve remains and the other person is standing directly on it, push the button. When life throws a curve ball, push the button. When words seem distant, push the button. When giving up seems the only answer, push the button.
On top of two varied personalities, perspectives and plans, another human being enters the scene. The heat cranks up in the home. Two personalities work to care for a child. Two perspectives on the whole parenting thing conflict. Two plans crash full force with one another.
Survival seems impossible. Storms brew mightier than ever with each day passing. Where was that easy button again?
Married people are a funny group! If I could record a typical day in the life of the Craig’s, I am sure the video would present drama, chaos, sadness, anger, laughter and failure. Lying in bed at night, I almost LOL while replaying the scenes of the day. Unnecessary arguments caused tension. Jammed packed schedules stole much needed rest. One person ticked another one off to the point of boiling over. The world was just too much for one spouse to handle, leaving a tear stained pillow. Failure brought disappointment into the relationships. Laughter saved a moment and allowed for some smile to remain at the end of the day.
Emotional rollercoaster? Definitely! Marriage is hard enough, throw the world into the mix and it becomes near impossible.
Impossible? Nothing is impossible with God! Those words pack powerful meaning in marriage. In the short 11 years of marriage, I have learned more than imaginable. I love my husband to pieces! I love my husband more than he will ever know. I love my husband! BUT, love is not a feeling. Love is action. Love is learned.
Married people are a funny group! We must make every effort to learn love and then show it. We must make every effort to offer grace, understand the other, pick battles and hug/kiss daily. I fall short of such on most days.
Grace – Remember that God created your spouse with the exact same intentions that He created you! He holds special plans and purpose for your spouse. Will marriage present failure and disappointment? Yes; but, this is where grace comes on the scene. Each day will not look just as you planned. You cannot control your spouse. Just as God cannot control you – free will exists. God offers grace when you fail in His plan. God offers grace when life disappoints. Offer the same grace received to your spouse.
Understanding – Okay, this one is HUGE! To the men: women are filled with hormones. Women do not understand them, so you are not expected to understand them. But, don’t point out the craziness of hormones, just accept them, deal with it and smile. To the women: men cannot read minds. Men want to help around the house, listen to your troubles and comfort your chaotic day. You must talk to them. Ask for help with dishes, laundry, kids, etc. Let him into your hurt by asking him to listen. Make him aware of the way the world broke your heart.
Pick battles – Trust me on this one! Some battles are not worth wasting your breath. Okay, maybe he didn’t hang the towel up after finishing a shower – hang it up and move on! Okay, maybe she spent a little too much on her best friend for a birthday – smile and move on! The real battles come in as life continues together; no need to add to the fire with small day to day issues.
Hug/Kiss daily – For SURE! This intimate touch comes with powerful healing, enormous love and genuine care only received by your significant other. If the lips are busy, argument cannot occur. If the arms are full, distance cannot exist. Greet each other with a hug/kiss.
Strive each day to offer grace, engage in understanding, pick important battles and intimately embrace your spouse. Married people will forever be a funny group. But, married people can exist in happiness and work mightily together for His Kingdom.
Argument and disappointment will occur often. Instead of running the other way, embrace your spouse and refuse to allow the enemy to build a wedge in marriage. God chose two people with two completely different pasts to merge together and begin ONE path together. Thank God for the teammate He chose and pray for your teammate daily.
Live life. . .One Day at a time!
Sheree Craig
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