The Power in Numbers

I QUIT!  I AM THROWING IN THE TOWEL!  I GIVE UP!

I am changing the way I use numbers in daily living.  Numbers have always been my ‘thing.’  Not a big deal, right?  Well, the enemy realized this characteristic and used it to hold me captive for years.  It began with rejection, a pivotal moment in time that determined the future.  It began the moment the last piece of me was taken due to failure.  Failure to make the list.  What now?

Numbers. . .Acceptance. . .Coping. . .Outward beauty. . .Get back on the list. . .

It began with a specific number of calories – a set number to live by each day.  One chain hanging heavily over my shoulders.  A few positive comments led to a specific number of fat grams – a set number to live by each day.  Two chains hanging heavily over my shoulders.  Numbers consumed every moment – calories, fat, sugar, steps, time, obsession in counting everything, etc.  Chain by chain, life became a burden; while on the same note the captivating numbers eliminated the focus on emotion.  I was trapped – feeling relief from emotional pain while killing my physical body and losing all control.

  

One day, which I have written in detail in past blogs, the chains outweighed a frail, scared, faithless body.  The enemy defeated and celebrated a victory.  But, God did not back down so easily.  He fought for me.  He took each chain, one by one, from my shoulders.  Once all lay at my feet, I fell into His arms.  My legs failed to move forward, thoughts failed to form, emotions remained numb and I stood in awe of the freedom God provided.

In the road of recovery, I learned how to walk, talk, think and act.  I began from scratch.  Recovery comes, not in the moment of surrender, but every day when the choice to walk in freedom conquers the choice to walk in darkness.  Every step must move in the direction of the straight path.  Every word must reveal His Truth to destroy the attempts of the enemy.  Every thought must conform to His Will.  Every action must display readiness, His armor tightly in place, to choose life.

In the road of recovery, I am not exempt from difficulty.  Over the last year, I continued down the path; but, the enemy, unbeknownst to me, slithered at my feet.  One link at a time, the enemy constructed a chain to weigh heavily on my shoulders.  Again, in a cunning manner, he used numbers.  Through our health insurance, we received a stepping device.  Based on set goals to reach daily, a specific amount of money accumulates in an account.  At first it went fine. . .then, throughout the year, I found worth in the number on the screen.  The number provided allowance to eat the next meal.  The number set a standard (in my mind) of ‘being healthy’.   The number controlled actions when steps remained to reach a goal.  The number stole the joy of working out.  The number stole the peace of each day.

In the road of recovery, I have reached a STOP sign.  Therefore, I QUIT!  I quit allowing the enemy to use the situation described above to control, steal and destroy my life.  I choose today to use numbers as God intended for my life!  God speaks to me through numbers.  As many blogs refer to my favorite Scripture and the way God reveals such daily, shows His use of numbers.  I will now use numbers to learn more Truth and remove the lies the enemy used to construct the latest chain.

I know to some, this may seem trivial.  But, this is a huge and difficult step.  I ask for prayer.  I cannot do without His strength.  Thanks in advance for prayer.  Living without this chain will be freeing and I pray to keep my eyes focused on Him.  I pray to place my value and worth in His Truth.  I pray for His numbers to be revealed and the enemy be defeated.  

Romans 8:28

Jeremiah 29:11

Psalm 139 

Matthew 26:41

It’s DAY NINE. . .will you be my prayer warrior?

    

Live life. . .One Day at a time!  

Sheree Craig