Healing Hand

Perfectionist:  a person who adheres to or believes in perfectionism; a person who demands perfection of himself, herself, or others.

Obsession:  the domination of one's thoughts or feelings by a persistent idea, image, desire, etc.

Pleasing: to give pleasure or satisfaction; be agreeable

As far back as my memory serves, I recall living each of the above definitions out daily.  On the outside, in every situation, I worked diligently to reach perfection and receive acceptance from whoever surrounded.  Conforming prevented criticism.  Conforming prevented confrontation.  Conforming day after day, year after year, eventually led to continual disappointment in self.  I became my worst critic.  I became someone I did not recognize.  Along the way, I got lost.

I remained lost for years, veering down various paths, hoping one would lead back to me.  The paths revealed danger, abuse, pain, sorrow and darkness.  Addiction reared its ugly head, taking captive over a young girl striving for acceptance.  Addiction became acceptance.  If I complied to the necessary measures required from addiction, I felt accepted.  One screw up and condemnation hit hard.  In came other dangerous measures to escape self-condemnation.

Ironic enough, living in such a manner resulted in lots of people leaving, unacceptance in this world and eventually being left alone with my addiction.  Perfectionism led to obsession which fed the need to please.  The snowball effect formed a gigantic mess that led to death’s door.

“I am not where I need to be, but thank God I am not where I used to be.  I am okay and I am on my way!”  ~Joyce Meyer

I would have to say Joyce Meyer one voice that led me each day to freedom.  Listening to her declare Truth from my Father daily began to transform all the lies that conforming created.  I began to realize that imperfection is okay.  My Father created me to be me!  I am here to follow His Will, not the will of this world.  I have come a long way in discovering Sheree again.  With each step down the right path, peace overflows.  God made me perfect in my imperfections.

I see my nieces/nephew/kids grow up in an environment worse than the one I had at their age and I pray.  I just wish they could see what I discovered the day I grabbed a hold of my Father’s Hand and said, “I surrender.”  I fought too long to try and make it on my own.  When taking my Father by the Hand, He said, “I have been waiting all along for you.”  He never gave up.  He never left.  He never said this is just too much, you have gone too far.  NOPE!  He waited patiently with an open hand.

I still have moments when addiction attracts -  Perfection persists -  Obsession overtakes -  People pleasing persuades.  Thankfully, my Father holds tightly to my hand, remains and guides.  He speaks clearly into every moment to keep me focused on maturing.  He takes all the past mess and creates a beautiful message!  He forms every ugly detail of the past and creates a purpose.  He uses anything the enemy meant for harm and creates healing.  

28 And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who[a] have been called according to his purpose.  Romans 8:28

“Never will I leave you;
    never will I forsake you.”[a]  Hebrews 13:5b

20 You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives.  Genesis 50:20

It’s DAY SEVEN. . .will you hold tightly to your Father’s hand?
   
Live life. . .One Day at a time!
Sheree Craig