Our church recently completed a journey. The journey, though short-lived, left lasting
impact. God presented this journey in a
timely manner within my story. A climax
moment woven into an unexpected chapter in my story.
Obsess: to dominate or preoccupy the thoughts, feelings, or
desires; to think about something unceasingly!
The journey titled Obsessed walked us through
various questions and promptings to discover what dominates our thoughts. What desires overtake each decision? What feelings dictate each step?
The preacher honed in on three ‘C’ words to
categorize common obsessions among individuals; Comparison, Control and Comfort. Once completing a collaboration of questions,
the answers placed you in a category. To
no surprise, mine fell in Comfort.
Comfort: to soothe, console, or reassure;
a state of ease and satisfaction of bodily wants, with freedom from
pain and anxiety!
The problem does not exist in being comforted; but,
it is the source of the comfort that becomes the issue. Where do I run when emotions rise and times
get tough? How do I handle uncomfortable
situations?
Over the years, I used any available source in this
world to find comfort, numb out, avoid emotion and run from pain. Whatever the source, it brought comfort. . .temporarily. I continued this roller coaster for
years. I hit rock bottom and fell in
exhaustion of running after comfort. I
came to the realization that comfort was not something to run after; but
Comfort was something to embrace. I
found a Source that extended comfort in ALL situations, walking me through
rather than taking me away from this life.
Through prayer and faith, I began to find comfort in a lasting Source.
Step by step on this new path, I grew in
strength. Life didn’t hurt as much
anymore. People did not control my
reactions as much anymore. But, through
this recent journey, God revealed a portion in life that I still run after
comfort. In the literal sense. . .I run
after comfort. I run until life makes
sense again. I run until all emotion is
left in the dust. I run and run and run
until I feel good about me and strong enough to handle the hurts in this
world. All the while I am running, God
is trying to speak louder than the pounding on the pavement. I hear Him from time to time; but, unceasing
thoughts of exercise and remaining “good enough” for this world overpower
Him.
See, I equate my worth with my health. Why?
Because, over the years all the compliments from others revolve around
my discipline to exercise and eat “healthy” foods. Others even desire to sit and hold
conversations pertaining to health and wellness. Others desire to hear the knowledge I gained
through obsessing over food, exercise and balancing the two. Others desire to be in my presence based on
my level of health.
In the beginning, I used the balance of food and
exercise to become healthy and recover from my eating disorder. But, over time, I simply replaced restriction
with “healthy” living. Obsessed for
sure! Mind blowing information here, I
know right? I knew the obsession existed;
I just did not want to face it. I
convinced myself it is okay and I must keep exercising to maintain and be
worthy of existence.
This ends NOW!
I made my mind up during the journey to stop this madness. I took steps
along the way to eliminate tools that allowed this obsession to continue each
day. I opened up to others and spoke of
such obsession. I brought it to
God. I said No More!
Ironic enough, shortly after the last sermon in this
series, I received information that will force such obsession to be eliminated
from my story. I will soon have a
surgery that will knock the whole exercising down a notch or two. I will be receiving a hip replacement,
forcing me to give up running. I must
now slow down and walk through life.
Walking through this life will not happen
alone. I am slowing down, taking God’s
hand and walking with Him. Instead of
running ahead and away, I will walk alongside and be comforted by the One
leading me through.
What is your obsession? What dominates your thoughts everyday? Walk with me in this journey called life and
allow His Truth to overpower obsession in this world.
With love my dear friends. . .
Live life. . .One Day at a
time!
Sheree Craig
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