One Day at a Time: Our God is Greater!

“Sorry, you will need to try again next month.” The test revealed negative results again. Month after month, year after year, left us without pregnancy. Emotions flooded every thought. Why did I deprive my body of nutrients for years and lose the ability to bear a child? I deserve this due to self-abuse practiced all those years. I cannot fulfill my side of the marriage. Why God?

My voice cried out to a God whom I only allowed in my life when a need arose. He was there all along, but my prayers were spoken with little faith. I knew He existed; yet, I relied on the world for survival rather than Him. I chose sinful behaviors and now felt deserving of a barren womb.

My dear friends, our God is greater, stronger and His Ways are higher!

116 months ago, the day came. Years of disappointment, despair and discouragement led to this glorious day. The test revealed positive results! I ran in and woke my husband to exclaim the great news. This was our last go around with doctors and help with getting pregnant. The difference this time? My prayers filled with faith that God would work it all out for His Will to be accomplished. I hit rock bottom and chose to look up. He came through in mighty ways; more than I could ask or imagine.

The pregnancy brought unexplainable joy. I remember the first time feeling my baby move. I remember the worry throughout for my baby to even make it through delivery due to complications in the latter months of pregnancy. I remember holding such a tiny little baby and knowing how great a story this baby already had written.

See, this little baby came in this world with a mighty assignment. God knew that I needed someone, an angel, to knock sense into my hard head. I held tightly to sin to process life. I remained selfish although God blessed me with a position as wife and mother. I chose immature ways leading down a path of destruction. God knew I needed an angel. . .

So, He sent me Brooklyn. A five pound, screaming, beautiful little girl. An angel whose smile lights up the room. A little girl that clung to me 108 months ago with such a tiny hand and has not released the grip (yet).

I remember the day I held her on my lap and realized the power working through a tiny being. God sent an angel to reveal my true worth. I understood the influence a mother holds and hit rock bottom (again). I chose to look up. Still living in gratitude for Him providing both kids, I heard God loud and clear about the changes required to come fully into a relationship with Him.

Brooklyn no longer fits in my lap. She loosened the grip quite a bit on my hand. Hormones bring more tears these days than smiles. Life circumstances creep in, releasing attitude from time to time. The world works to lead Brooklyn away from good. But, in the end, this amazing 9-year-old stays strong in faith, smiles to light up the room and enjoys life.

She walks daily holding the MOST caring heart of any girl I know. She is the first to come to me when clumsiness causes pain (at least once daily). She is the first to include loved ones in EVERY event taking place on the calendar. She is the first to think of another’s feelings in a situation. She is an angel!

I stand amazed at the resemblance this girl displays of me at her age. It is like looking into a mirror of the past, watching myself grow up; yet, this little girl is stronger, braver and more beautiful (inside and out)! I pray for her path to remain straight and that she lets go of my hand only to grab tightly to God. I pray that the presence of God overpowers all my mistakes as a mother. I pray this little girl’s heart remains whole and in God’s Hands throughout every year of her life.

Thank you, God, for my angel. Thank you, God, for completing our family. The boys and I could not imagine even one day without Brooklyn’s smile!